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Men and Their Feelings

Men and Depression

 

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Depression is often viewed as a predominantly female affliction. But this may be because the condition is often overlooked and misunderstood with respect to men. According to Terrance Real, with covert depression you don't see the depression. What you see are the footprints of depression or the defenses a man is using to run from it. We see it in self medication, isolation and lashing out. Self-medication may be drinking, drugging, womanizing and even watching excessive amounts of television. Some forms of self medication are tolerated by our culture so it is hard to get across that what these men are doing is stabilizing depression. His advice? Get help. Get help. Get help. Depression is highly treatable and these men need therapy. Unfortunately, covertly depressed men rarely seek help on their own. It is almost always the people around them who persuade them to initiate therapy.


I Don't Want to Talk About It book cover
Terrance Real,
I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression.
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book cover
Darkness Visible:
A Memoir of Madness
, by William Styron.
Order on-line

An interview with Terrance Real, author of I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression(New York, NY, Fireside Simon & Schuster, 1998). Order on-line, provided by the publisher.

Book review, of Terrence Real's I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression(New York, NY, Fireside Simon & Schuster, 1998). Order on-line.

Short excerpts, from Terrence Real's I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression(New York, NY, Fireside Simon & Schuster, 1998). Order on-line.

Did you know? ..., facts about depression, from Richard O'Connor, Ph.D., author of Undoing Depression.

Thoughts on Depression. Excerpts from Richard O'Connor, Ph.D.'s book Undoing Depression., by therapist James Dolan

"The Way" of Depression, by therapist James Dolan

Men, Grief and Ritual, by Tom Golden, continuing the themes developed in "A Man's Grief"

A Tree for My Father, by Tom Golden

On the Anniversary of My Father's Death, by Tom Golden

A short interview with Terrance Real, author of I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression(New York, NY, Fireside Simon & Schuster, 1998). Order on-line, provided by the publisher.

MP3 WebCasts:

Be sure to check out our three MP3 WebCasts of Tom Golden on men and grief.

Related stories:

A Ritual for my Father, by Bert H. Hoff

Surviving and Living: Male Childhood Sexual Abuse survivors. Articles, personal stories and valuable information; book reviews and an on-line bookstore; and "Witnessing the process ...", an invitation for men to read men's stories and share theirs, as part of the healing process. Scott Abraham, the Assistant WebMaster for this section of MenWeb, is himself a survivor who has helped many men.

     

Men and Depression: Related Books

The books listed here are highly recommended by friends. Terrance Real's book, a counselor friend tells me, is the best thing available on men and depression. William Styron is the author of such best-sellers as Sophie's Choice and The Confessions of Nat Turner. The book below is his personal story about his depression. A friend describes it as the best book out, on what depression feels like.


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