author Jed Diamond
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Male Menopause
by Jed Diamond
Order online
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The most common problem associated with male menopause is depression which is closely related to impotence and problems with male sexuality. Approximately 40% of men in their 40s, 50s and 60s will experience some degree of difficulty in attaining and sustaining erections, lethargy, depression, increased irritability, and mood swings that characterize male menopause. The symptoms of depression in men are commonly not recognized for several reasons:
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The symptoms of male depression are different than the classic symptoms we think of as depression |
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Men deny they have problems because they are supposed to "be strong" |
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Men deny they have a problem with their sexuality and don't understand the relationship with depression |
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The symptom cluster of male depression is not well known so family members, physicians, and mental health professionals fail to recognize it. |
Male depression is a disease with devastating consequences. To paraphrase from Jed Diamond's book Male Menopause
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80% of all suicides in the US are men |
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The male suicide rate at midlife is three times higher; for men over 65, seven times higher |
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The history of depression makes the risk of suicide seventy-eight times greater (Sweden) |
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20 million American will experience depression sometimes in their lifetime |
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60-80% of depressed adults never get professional help |
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It can take up to ten years and three health professionals to properly diagnose this disorder |
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80-90% of people seeking help get relief from their symptoms |
Differences between Male and Female depression:
Men are more likely to act out their inner turmoil while women are more likely to turn their feelings inward. The following chart from Jed Diamond's book Male Menopause illustrates these differences.
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Female depression
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Male depression
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Blame
themselves
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Feel
others are to blame
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Feel
sad, apathetic, and worthless
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Feel
angry, irritable, and ego inflated
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Feel
anxious and scared
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Feel
suspicious and guarded
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Avoids
conflicts at all costs
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Creates
conflicts
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Always
tries to be nice
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Overtly
or covertly hostile
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Withdraws
when feeling hurt
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Attacks
when feeling hurt
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Has
trouble with self respect
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Demands
respect from other
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Feels
they were born to fail
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Feels
the world set them up to fail
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Slowed
down and nervous
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Restless
and agitated
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Chronic
procrastinator
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Compulsive
time keeper
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Sleeps
too much
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Sleeps
too little
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Trouble
setting boundaries
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Needs
control at all costs
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Feels
guilty for what they do
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Feels
ashamed for who they are
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Uncomfortable
receiving praise
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Frustrated
if not praised enough
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Finds
it easy to talk about weaknesses and doubts
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Terrified
to talk about weaknesses and doubts
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Strong
fear of success
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Strong
fear of failure
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Needs
to "blend in" to feel safe
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Needs
to be "top dog" to feel safe
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Uses
food, friends, and "love" to self-medicate
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Uses
alcohol, TV, sports, and sex to self medicate
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Believe
their problems could be solved only if they could be a better (spouse,
co-worker, parent, friend)
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Believe
their problems could be solved only if their (spouse, co-worker, parent,
friend) would treat them better
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Constantly
wonder, "Am I loveable enough?"
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Constantly
wonder, "Am I being loved enough?"
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