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Childhood Sexual Abuse: Surviving and Living

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Male Survivors of Child Sex Abuse

 

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Scott Abraham

Can a man lead a healthy, full and creative life after surviving child sexual abuse? Yes he can, but the road is rough. We've heard a lot about survivors, but so much of it is geared to women. Out of all the books out there, few seem to recognize that male children are sexually abused as much as, or almost as much as, female children. And women, as well as men, are perpetrators. A few years ago Scott Abraham, WebMaster of this part of MenWeb and a survivor himslef, wrote a column reviewing the books specifically geared toward male survivors. It became an Internet "classic," replicated on sites around the world.

We're happy to provide the "original" version of this list, straight from the source. And to have it as an "interactive" version. You can click on the links for each book Scott mentioned, and have it delivered straight to your house, throuh MenWeb and Amazon.com. And does something in these books bring up something for you? E-mail Scott and tell him about it. And visit our Witness! section, where you can read other men's stories, and possibly share pieces of your own, safely, under a guarantee of anonymity.


Book Reviews

 

Healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse, Book reviews by Scott Abraham

Books available on-line

Book cover
Victims No Longer: Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse
by Mike Lew
Review
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Leaping Upon the Mountain book cover
Leaping upon the Mountains: Men Proclaiming Victory over Sexual Child Abuse
by Mike Lew (with Richard Hoffman)
Reviews
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Book cover
Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse
by Mic Hunter
Review
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Speaking Our Truths book cover
Speaking Our Truths
Voices of Courage and Healing for Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse

by Neal King
Review
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Betrayed as Boys book cover
Betrayed as Boys
by Richard B. Gartner
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In Cabin Six book cover
In Cabin Six An Anthology of Poetry by Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse
by Jill A. Kuhn [ed.]
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Alone and Forgotten book cover
Alone and Forgotten
The Sexually Abused Man

by Rod Tobin
Review
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Treating Sexually Abused Boys: A Guide for Therapists & Counselors book cover
Treating Sexually Abused Boys: A Guide for Therapists & Counselors
by Lisa Camino
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Betrayed as Boys book cover
In My Father's Arms
A True Story of Incest

by Walter De Milly
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Book cover
When She Was Bad
Violent Women & the Myth of Innocence

by Patricia Pearson
Review
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Unchained Memories: True Stories of Traumatic Memories, Lost and Found
by Lenore Terr

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Book cover
Broken Boys/Mending Men: Recovery from Childhood Sexual Abuse
by Stephen D. Gruban-Black

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Victims No Longer : Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse
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by Mike Lew, Ellen Bass
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Reprint Edition
Paperback, 325 pages
Published by HarperCollins (paper)
Publication date: February 1, 1990
Dimensions (in inches): 9.81 x 7.97 x 1.59
ISBN: 0060973005


Reviews and Commentary for Victims No Longer : Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse

Synopsis:
For the millions of men who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse and for all those who wish to help them, this work offers new hope, understanding, and essential advice.

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Abused Boys : The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse
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by Mic Hunter
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Reprint Edition
Paperback
Published by Fawcett Books
Publication date: July 1, 1991
Dimensions (in inches): 7.99 x 5.17 x .82
ISBN: 0449906299


Reviews and Commentary for Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse

Synopsis:
This myth-breaking study explains the ways in which boys are molested and the reasons why men remain silent about it later in life. Thirteen firsthand "survival stories" offer inspiration to readers. Resource section. Bibliography.

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Speaking Our Truth: Voices of Courage and Healing for Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse
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by Neal King
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Paperback, 176 pages
Published by HarperPerennial (paper)
Publication date: January 1, 1995
Dimensions (in inches): 7.98 x 5.31 x .45
ISBN: 0060950587

Reviews and Commentary for Speaking Our Truth: Voices of Courage and Healing for Male Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Synopsis:
A collection of powerful, deeply moving testimonies from men who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse shares their stories and adult experiences, outlines stages in the healing process, and offers hope, inspiration, and guidance for other survivors.

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When She Was Bad: Violent Women & the Myth of Innocence
by Patricia Pearson Order on-line
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Hardcover, 288 pages
Published by Viking Press
Publication date: October 1, 1997
Dimensions (in inches): 9.31 x 6.29 x 1.01
ISBN: 0670859257

Reviews and Commentarys:
        Review
        Kirkus Reviews and customer review

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Recovery for Male Victims of Child Abuse
by Hank Estrada Order on-line
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Paperback
Published by Red Rabbit Pr
Publication date: December 1990
ISBN: 9992312882

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Allies in Healing : When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused As a Child, a Support Book
by Laura Davis
cover
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Added by Reader Demand! We added this book to our shelf after we discovered that many of our visitors were ordering it.

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Paperback - 368 pages 1st harper edition (September 1991)
Harperperennial Library; ISBN: 0060968834 ; Dimensions (in inches): 1.13 x 9.24 x 6.11

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Men Surviving Incest : A Male Survivor Shares the Process of Recovery
by T. Thomas Order on-line
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Paperback, 61 pages
Published by Launch Press
Publication date: August 1, 1989
Dimensions (in inches): 8.50 x 5.39 x .28
ISBN: 0961320583

Reviews and Commentary for Men Surviving Incest : A Male Survivor Shares the Process of Recovery

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The publisher, Launch Press , 03/19/97:
The incidence of sexual abuse of boys remains less documented although a recent study estimates that boys are at five times greater risk of sexual abuse out of the home than their female counterparts. Ths groundbreaking book, written by a male survivor, makes explicit the isolation and stigmatization of male survivors and discusses the fear and conflict of disclosure. Men and women survivors share many common concerns such as guilt, isolation, shame and low self-esteem. In addition, the issues unique to male survivors are discussed in a candid and sensitive manner.

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Come Here; A Man Overcomes the Tragic Aftermath of Childhood Sexual Abuse Order on-line
by Richard Berendzen
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1 Edition
Hardcover, 301 pages
Published by Villard Books
Publication date: September 1, 1993
Dimensions (in inches): 9.56 x 6.41 x 1.14
ISBN: 067941777X

Reviews and Commentary for Come Here; A Man Overcomes the Tragic Aftermath of Childhood Sexual Abuse

Synopsis:
Publicly disgraced for making anonymous telephone calls, a former president of American University recounts his shattering experiences as a child victim of sexual abuse and incest, offering inspiration in the story of his painful healing. 35,000 first printing. Tour.

Synopsis:
Publicly disgraced for making anonymous telephone calls, a former president of American University recounts his shattering experiences as a child victim of sexual abuse and incest, offering inspiration in the story of his painful healing. 35,000 first printing. Tour.

Synopsis:
Publicly disgraced for making anonymous telephone calls, a former president of American University recounts his shattering experiences as a child victim of sexual abuse and incest, offering inspiration in the story of his painful healing. 35,000 first printing. Tour.

From Kirkus Reviews , 06/15/93:
A scandal broke out a few years ago when American University president Berendzen was caught making sexually oriented phone calls to strangers. Here, Berendzen (Is My Armor Straight?, 1985) and Palmer (Shrapnel in the Heart, 1987) team up to tell the harrowing story of the academician's childhood sexual abuse--abuse that festered until its tragic eruption during middle age. Berendzen's mother first seduced the author when he was eight and continued until he was eleven, stopping for reasons as unspoken as her motivations for the abuse in the first place. Berendzen blocked the episodes from his consciousness and lost himself in work, becoming an astronomer, a professor at Harvard, and, finally, president of AU. Workaholism had destroyed his first marriage, but his second was happy and stable, as wife Gail worked with him to upgrade AU's image and put it on the road to financial prosperity; together, they became prominent on the Washington social scene. But, gradually, disturbing compulsions began to intrude upon Berendzen's carefully controlled life. He found himself making furtive phone calls to day-care providers who had advertised in Washington newspapers. He would quiz them about sexual activities with children and lead them on with confessions of his own invented exploits. The author never linked the calls to what he'd suffered, and, he says, never got sexual pleasure from them: He was trying to find out, in a confused way, what makes adults use children for such sick purposes. One woman decided to trap Berendzen and taped his calls: Exposed and forced to resign his position, he entered the John Hopkins clinic for sexual disorders and began to face his past. Berendzen's story of his recovery, his wife and daughter's steadfastness, his efforts on behalf of other abuse survivors, and his final forgiveness of his parents is told with honesty, eloquence and humility. An inspiring and compelling work. (Photographs--not seen) -- Copyright ©1993, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

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Broken Boys/Mending Men : Recovery from Childhood Sexual Abuse Order on-line
by Stephen D. Gruban-Black
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Reissue Edition
Mass Market Paperback
Published by Ivy Books
Publication date: March 1997
Dimensions (in inches): 6.84 x 4.15 x .50
ISBN: 0804109400


Reviews and Commentary for Broken Boys/Mending Men : Recovery from Childhood Sexual Abuse

Synopsis:
One out of six males is sexually abused as a child, yet these crimes continue to be underreported and misunderstood. Stereotypes about men and masculinity actually engender sexual victimization and prevent society from protecting male children against this crime. Counselor and survivor of childhood abuse, Grubman-Black tells how the healing process can begin. HC: McGraw-Hill.

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Opening the Door : A Treatment Model for Therapy With Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Order on-line
by Adrienne Crowder
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Paperback, 208 pages
Published by Brunner/Mazel
Publication date: May 1, 1995
Dimensions (in inches): 8.93 x 5.99 x .66
ISBN: 0876307543


Reviews and Commentary for Opening the Door : A Treatment Model for Therapy With Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse and share your thoughts with other readers.

Card catalog description
The first book available to comprehensively address the treatment of sexually abused males, Opening the Door: A Treatment Model for Therapy with Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse is based on current research and the carefully evolved techniques of 41 therapists who have developed expertise in working with male survivors of sexual abuse. It discusses the approaches that these therapists bring to their work and presents interventions they have successfully applied in treatment. Written in clear, concise language, Opening the Door features a four-phase treatment model and presents, in detail, the therapeutic tasks necessary for each phase. This model makes clear the significant parallels and distinctions between the processes of therapy and abuse. These processes are discussed throughout the text to ensure that therapy will be a healing, rather than a harmful, experience.

Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
Ch. 1. Introduction
Ch. 2. Prevalence, Impacts, and Issues
Ch. 3. Treatment Model and Stages of Healing
Ch. 4. General Therapeutic Considerations
Ch. 5. Individual Therapy: The Victim Phase
Ch. 6. Individual Therapy: The Survivor Phase
Ch. 7. Individual Therapy: The Thriver Phase
Ch. 8. Group Therapy with Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse
Ch. 9. Critical Issues in Treating Male Survivors
Ch. 10. Counseling Adolescent Male Survivors
Ch. 11. Therapist Issues
Resources
Appendix A-Questionnaire
Appendix B-Contributors
Appendix C-DES
Appendix D-Intervention to Manage Flashbacks and Intervention to Ground Clients in Here-and-Now Experience
Appendix E-Behaviors That Support Group Process
Appendix F-Dean Adolescent Inventory Scale
References
Index

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Articles and information

Witnessing the process ...

 

The therapeutic process of recovery from childhood sexual abuse rarely leads itself to neat, logical summations of such complex emotions and thoughts.

We invite men to contribute to this section with snippets of their own writing, that need not be "completed works," but that offer a glimpse into the complexity of the healing process.

We invite you to check out the WITNESS section, to read and perhaps to participate.

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