First, an abused boy loses his innocence.
Then, he loses his voice.
Sexual abuse thrives on the silence of secrets, and predators learn
early to still the cries of their victims.
To heal, a man must find his voice, must name the crimes, must know
that he never, ever need squelch his soulís song again. He needs his
pain, anger, and noble courage to be witnessed both by those who know
him and by people who donít.
I know. At the beginning of this decade, I was trying to find my
voice. A kind and perceptive man had a venue that would allow me to be
heard, and encouraged me to speak. That article is included in this
site; that man was Bert Hoff.
He knows the power of giving men the opportunity to speak, to be seen,
to be held in sacred space; as a grateful beneficiary of that wisdom, it
is my pleasure to pass on the opportunity to others. I am delighted to
work with him in giving men around the world the opportunity to be
witnessed, to help themselves and to help others by their example and
Several of these pieces have been available in various places on the
web for many years. Iíve been amazed at the response from men who did
not know that so many millions of others shared their experience and
knew their anguish. There is incredible healing power in community, in
banding together to heal ourselves and the world.
We of MenWeb and Menís Voices invite all men who have been sexually
abused, have known someone who has been sexually abused, or who have
been touched in some way by those horrible acts, to share their
experience, strength and hope.
Your contribution need not be a finished article or a professional
piece. We believe that the most authentic voices often are
inarticulate, and we can help contributors polish their words. Process
notes and journal entries often contain incredible jems of insight and
understanding. We invite submissions of artwork, poetry, snippits of
song lyrics, anything we can use to help those who come to recovery
understand the complexity of the process, and to feel less isolated.
While legal strictures and the need for clarity and coherence will
force us to occasionally edit submissions, we will do so as little as
For we want this website to be a place where men find their voices, and
celebrate the joy of breaking the silence.
Together, we can build an incredible resource for hundreds of thousands
of men who desperately need connection, validation, and a sense that
they are no longer alone. In the process, we can heal ourselves.